How “Honey Boy” Impacted Me

This lovely, emotionally honest film has become the most personal film I’ve ever seen.

Without getting into too much detail, I was a little like Otis when I was younger, though not to the same extent. I found myself in a circumstance where I was the center of everyone’s attention, seemingly out of nowhere. I was given the job and luxury of playing make-believe in front of everyone for their amusement, through theater and especially through film, while not knowing or understanding anything.

Being young, surrounded by adults who have dedicated their lives to the arts — yet none of them had any capacity to converse, care, teach, or handle children — was an inspiring yet terribly difficult moment in my life. Going away from school and all of my same-aged peers to an unfamiliar setting where there are so few kids, if any, to grow and acknowledge the shift with. I began to feel as though I were skipping, jumping through my childhood. I unintentionally sacrificed my childhood normalcy to fulfill someone else’s concept of childhood.

And, underneath this mask, I notice that my connection with my parents is deteriorating. I often felt like I was just a machine for my family at the time. There was a time when I couldn’t see my own value, when my self-esteem and self-love only existed and were felt via the esteem and love of others. I felt like I was my parents’ new toy. I feel like I’m their new “thing” that they can show off to others. All of the kindness and genuine support I received was just too much for me to bear.

This movie helps me understand what I went through. Assist me in developing the mindset of always appreciating things. To value adversity, grief, heartbreak, and trauma.

Shia’s candor in expressing his immensely painful experiences with his father and with himself was truly inspiring. I shall be eternally grateful for this film and how much it represents pieces of my personal life and experiences.